Podcast: Resistance (test transcript)

Hello everyone, and welcome to this week’s podcast of the Human Underground Association. I’m your host Tim Norris, and this week I will be discussing the continuing efforts to thwart the alien overlords and free humanity through resistance, both subtle and overt.
Ever since the overlords came to our planet, they have been repeatedly using up our resources, and enslaving hundreds of thousands in their spice mines over one thousand light years from here. Some have wondered if we should just give up in the face of such an impressive armada that orbits the moon, striking every two weeks and costing so many lives. Well, according to new research by Stanford University’s professor Costello, if we let them continue on their raids, our resources will be used up by the end of next year. Also, the latest population census show our population is dwindling, and will reach endangered levels by the end of the decade.
With this information in mind, I say we should continue fighting. All forms of peace talks have failed, and last week the latest broadcast from the overlords themselves shows us that they just want our planet’s resources for their continued production of intergalactic junk mail, and they want to use us as a source of cheap labor.
Our efforts to fight back has slowed their advancements, but we need to continue to do so. I urge every citizen to provide what they can to the men and women fighting in this war. I also urge every person able, to take up arms against these invaders. Never before have we faced such dire circumstances, and not only our race, but our planet is in great need. Nothing ever worth doing was easy, and some sacrifices will need to be made. However, this is for the good of everyone if we want to be free from the alien menace at our door.
That’s all of our time this week. Thank you for listening everyone. Join us again next week as I talk about how to convert your bathtub into a water distillation facility. This is Tim Norris, and thanks again. Good day to you all, and remember, never give up!